so i’ve been inspired my one of my most beautiful friends to start this blogging thing. for the sake of anonymity let’s call this friend bessie. bessie is a creative person, and likes to express herself through words. i thought, you know what, i should give this word thing a try.

i’m not a fool, i don’t think people are going to read this. or, if people DO read this they are people that already know the things that i am going to say. for instance, the food network? yes please. i digress. back to why i’m doing this.

i am supposed to be a creative person. that’s what my degrees say, whatever those are worth. people sometimes tell me i’m artistic. but i fear it’s that cerebral type of artistry that no one really ever sees. and when people tell me this i feel like it’s kind of backhanded. what do i have to show for my artistry? a job? not quite. an idea of what i should do? strike two. some type of talent that no one else on this planet possesses? wrong again.

the truth is, i’m just as confused as every other 25-year-old-living-at-home-after-having-two-of-the-greatest-years-of-his-life-in-a-city-that-he’ll-probably-never-live-in-again guy is. i’m preparing myself for a few months of disappointment and confusion. whatever. i’m not looking for sympathy, i’m looking for a job.

to be honest, i think i’d rather NOT work. it would be much easier. it would SURELY be more complimentary to my lifestyle. a lifestyle i’ll go into more detail about later. i’m scandalous.

so here i sit, in my parents’ basement, writing about why i can’t be creative for a living. or maybe why i shouldn’t. maybe i shouldn’t because rather than filling out applications and shopping my portfolio around to agencies in the saint louis area, i’m writing on a blog for completely unknown reasons. it’s cathartic to write about yourself. but isn’t it just narcissism to post those things for other people to read and talk about?  i think i’m narcissistic enough without starting a blog.

maybe i’m writing this so i won’t feel like i’m missing out on the way my generation communicates with strangers. i miss the days when a decent-looking guy with a mini-van would pull up and ask me if i want candy. that’s the type of communication i’m interested in.

for now, this will do. i’ll see if i do it again. even having done it this one time, i feel like i’m ‘in’ on something. like i’ve experienced blogging. sigh. is it a blog if no one reads it? or is it a journal. and wait, if it’s a journal and no one WANTS to read it, does that make me a loser? or am i already a loser because i’m 25 living in a basement? so much to think about.

cheers. i love you.